Signs of Anger, Depression and Anxiety in Older Adopted Children or Foster-Adopt Scenarios:
Here are some behavioral clues that indicate ways adopted children may explore and express their feelings:
Aggression - Adopted children frequently make use of aggressive physical and verbal behaviors to keep their adoptive parents at a distance. They think that if they are staying in control, then you can't come close.
Lying, Stealing and Hoarding - Lying will allow adopted children to think that if they lie, you won't be able to get close to them and know the real them. Also, stealing and hoarding come from a child's belief that no one can meet his needs but him.
Depression - For children, depression could be biochemical or situational. Adopted children feel at a loss. After all, they've "lost" their birthmother and birthfather. To them, what makes the situation with you any different? They mentally go through constant ups and downs. Do they trust you today? Do they want to hug you? Your child may need some assistance with therapy to get through this tough beginning at your home. Don't let it dishearten you, though!
Bad Eye Contact - It takes time for children to become trusting and able to look you in the eye. Don't be offended or feel badly if your child won't look at you right off the bat. It's going to take time. In the meantime, be happy if they are in the same room with you!
Indiscriminate Affection - Your child might run up to a lady in the grocery store and give her a hug, or maybe the mailman. It's a way for them to experience touch and closeness. Your child may not hug you, though, because to them, it's frightening. They are still unsure whether or not you are in their life to stay so getting close to you is something they fear. But hugging someone who isn't in this position, who isn't permanent in their life, seems okay to them since they know these are people they aren't going to ever need to depend on for anything.
For more information about signs of anger, depression, and anxiety in your adopted child, please feel free to contact us!
Thank you so much for making my adoption journey as pleasant as possible. I was so pleased with your office & most of the staff. Thanks again.
Heidi R. - Birth Mother
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