Wanting to have a child with your partner is a dream that most couples have. When it isn't possible to carry a pregnancy to term or become pregnant at all, it can be extremely frustrating. Many couples in this situation choose to pursue adoption or using a surrogate mother.
Gestational surrogacy involves a female carrying a baby in the womb for another couple who may not be able to maintain a pregnancy for any number of medical reasons. The surrogate carrier will carry a baby that is conceived from the eggs and sperm of a couple. Through in vitro fertilization, the eggs are fertilized and embryos are created. Eventually, the embryos will be placed into the surrogate carrier and once one of them attaches to the uterine wall, she will become pregnant.
A gestational surrogacy varies from traditional surrogacy procedures because with a typical surrogacy pregnancy, the eggs of the carrier are used rather than those of the actual mother. This creates a biological bond with the child whereas in a gestational surrogacy, there is no biological bond with the baby. Many couples who are unable to get and stay pregnant are beginning to choose gestational surrogacy over the more traditional form. They believe that doing so will let them have a child that has the same genetic makeup of themselves rather than having some genetics from the actual father and some from another female who may not want to be linked to the child.
Generally, a surrogate carrier will be a female who has already had at least one child. This helps to ensure the couple that she is able to carry a pregnancy full term. Having a child of her own may also help to lessen the chance that she becomes very emotionally attached to the new baby.
Understandably, before a gestational surrogacy is performed, there are things that must be done to protect the rights of the actual couple who will be taking care of the baby once it is born. Medical costs and additional financial details such as delivery fees and screening expenses must be determined beforehand as well. Also, if a couple involved in the process is male/male or female/female, it will be necessary to use donor eggs or sperm. There are additional costs involved with this.
Some couples may choose to adopt a child instead of using a surrogate mother. Adoption can be a very rewarding process because you know you are giving a child a life filled with love and care like they deserve. When choosing adoption, the couple needs to decide what type of adoption they would like to pursue.
With an open adoption, the birth mother and the adoptive parents are able to communicate back and forth with each other freely. The birth mother is allowed to talk and meet with the adoptive parents before she ever chooses to select them as her baby's new family. Once the baby is born, the adoptive parents can share pictures, videos, and messages with the birth mother and vice versa. Whether or not the birth mother and child ever have regular meetings is up to the adoptive parents and mother. Coordinating with one another is recommended.
With a semi-open adoption, the birth mother may know the adoptive parents first names, but generally not their last names or where they live. The adoptive parents will regulate communication and will determine when the birth mother can come to visit, if at all. There is much less opportunity given to the birth mother to choose when and how she communicates with the couple and her baby.
With a closed adoption, the birth mother doesn't get an opportunity to have future visits with the baby and sometimes, the names of the couple adopting are not disclosed. This is done to protect the new child. Some individuals choose this more aged, but traditional form of adoption because they fear that the birth mother will be incessantly calling and attempting to visit the baby once it is born.
For more information about gestational surrogacy or adoption, please contact us and we will be glad to talk with you in greater detail.