Proper Adoption Language
Oftentimes individuals are uninformed and insensitive when commenting on "real" families. Words hurt and it is crucial that you understand and educate others about the proper words and phrases to use (and not to use) when talking about adoption.
You should educate those who are around you when speaking about adoption. This is especially true if your family and friends aren’t accepting of your decision to adopt a child or place a child for adoption.
Avoid using: "real" or even "natural" when talking about mother, father, or sibling, simply because this implies that the adoptive relationships are unnatural, tentative or otherwise unreal. Use instead, "birth" or "biological” mother, father, or sibling
Avoid using: "own child" as this suggests that the adoptive relationships are significantly less important than biological relationships. Use instead "birth child" or "child by birth"
Avoid using: "taken away" or "given up" as this implies that youngsters are stolen or neglected, rather than adopted lawfully and with forethought. Use as an alternative: "placed” for adoption.
Avoid using: "surrendered", "relinquished", "given away", "put up", since this is an undesirable description of a birth mom's or dad's decision making-process and choice. Instead use "chose adoption", "created an adoption plan" or “placed” for adoption.
Avoid using: "to keep" since this suggests that children are belongings. Use instead: "To parent".