Adopting a 2nd Time

For a lot of families, the choice of whether or not to engage in another adoption can be a complicated one. With so many things to consider and so many selections to make, it could come as a surprise to learn that a lot of families' questions and concerns are identical. Delineating a few of the decisions, being familiar with a lot of the common concerns, and contemplating how to prepare your family for the addition of a new arrival will help you make the choices that will be suitable for your family.

Why is a repeat adoption different?

Individuals generally come into a second adoption with a very different aim and set of questions than the ones which may have initially been part of their first adoption. Where first-time adopters could be curious about some significant questions - Will adoption work for me? Will I get through the home study? Will I be a good mother or father? - those thinking about a second (or third) adoption will often have another array of concerns. For repeat adopters, the issues have a tendency not to involve the key questions of whether or not adoption works (it will), or whether they can be loving nurturing mothers and fathers (they are able to), but whether they want to risk disrupting the balance of lives which have already been enriched.

Looking at Options

In considering whether another adoption may be good for you, think about the next questions:

Motivation - Why do you want to adopt again? Is it for you, for the child, or both? There's a widespread misconception that children adjust better to the new environment when they have brothers and sisters, particularly brothers and sisters who are just like them. While there were several scientific studies on adoption adjustment, the impact of family structure on adoption adjustment is not a typical focus. One study shows that family structure has almost no, if any, impact on child adjustment, a discovery that is in line with earlier research. Ultimately, unless the main motivation to adopt is the desire to parent an additional child, it may be worth reconsidering.

Timing - What will the age variation between the children be, or what do you really want it to be? Due to the variability/unpredictability of a lot of adoptions, exactly what special timing considerations should you take into account? Being mindful of the spacing of children within the family and the estimated time to finish an adoption can help direct you in figuring out when to start the process.

Type - Should you follow the same kind of adoption? Should you adopt a similar age or from a similar ethnic and/or racial group? Program requirements, costs, time frames and availability of children might  have been altered since your last adoption. It may be advantageous to think about all of your available options prior to making a final choice.

Regardless of why you may be thinking about a second, or third, or fourth..., adoption, contact us for more information and some guidance with making a decision that will work for you and your family.