Convincing Your Spouse to Say “Yes!” to Adoption

Understandably, conceiving a child may have been the original plan when you got married but we all know things don't always happen the way that we want them to. Sometimes, the “natural” process of having children just doesn't work. You can go to a fertility clinic to determine what may be going on, but sometimes couples may have what is known as unexplainable infertility. This can leave both you and your spouse wondering what to do next. You know that you both want children, but how should you go about it? Of course, there are donor options available, but this might not be right for you and your spouse. It's definitely a personal choice that must be weighed before making a decision.  Some couples may feel uneasy about what they think is “raising someone else's child” if it wasn't their baby. 

More times than not, it's the wife in the relationship who wants to adopt a baby. Many husbands may get the idea that there is no hope for him and he will never be a father. Women who want children will typically have a deep longing to be mothers. How can you satisfy this longing and also convince your husband that adoption is a great way to have children whom you will love just as much as biological children?

1. First, you need to arrange a time in the future where you can both comfortably discuss adoption without any distractions. You need to address both the pros and cons of adoption and how they can affect your marriage. Let your spouse know that this is an important issue for you.

2. You need to accept your spouse’s concerns and address any legitimate fears that he or she may have. Don't judge or argue.  He or she obviously feels this way for a reason and you need to try to figure out why. Be sure to ask your spouse, also, to listen to your reasons as to why you think adoption is not something to be feared.

3. Take a break. Don't demand to talk to your spouse about adoption at every opportunity you get. This is not a wise decision. Your spouse will quickly get burned out on the idea of choosing, talking, or even thinking about adoption. 

4. Give your spouse the time and space he or she needs to think about adoption and what it could mean for you as a couple. You as a couple need to reconfirm that you both want to be parents someday. It was something you had both wanted initially when you got married.

5. Think about joining an adoption support group to discuss you and your spouse’s feelings about adoption and what path you should go down next to learn more information.

Choosing adoption is a major decision which should not be taken lightly or decided upon on a whim. Please contact Radis Adoptions for more information about our adoption services or to learn more about the entire adoption process.