Older Child Adoption Outcomes

Older child adoption can often be more complex and come with more pitfalls than adoption of a newborn.  In this article we glance at some older child adoption results and how possible unfavorable circumstances can be solved or averted.

The first problem with older child adoption is that older children need to be prepared for adoption. They may not want to be adopted, they may feel rejected by their birthparents, and they may come with a lot of other psychological baggage that prevents them from connecting with their adoptive mother and father. It is also frequently more difficult for an adoptive mother or father to connect with an older child.  The more an older child can be involved in determining who his or her adoptive mother and father will be, the better the chances are of having good results in the end. If they think that they have had a say in the choice, they will be more likely to cooperate with the adoption process and the family.

Many adoptive parents who adopted an older child also have experienced behavioral issues with the child. For adoptive parents who have chosen older child adoption, these issues have come much later after the adoption, while others encounter behavioral difficulties practically from the beginning. These behavioral issues might originate from the child’s difficulty in adjusting to a new family, dealing with emotional problems or adjusting to teenage years (similar issues to what numerous birthparents of adolescents encounter).

Older children are also a lot more sensitive to interpersonal and social expectations and, therefore, may feel concerned about being displaced, unable to fit in with the family, not being able to make friends at their new school, and so on. Giving the older child a say in the adoption process, providing them with the information they require about the new circumstances, and helping them come to terms with new social and cultural expectations can go a long way in enhancing older child adoption results.

Another issue that worries numerous older children who are adopted is what will become of their connections with their biological family members, including relationships with grandparents, brothers and sisters and other family members. It is important that the adoptive mother and father let them know what they feel about these issues and wherever possible give them the chance to sustain these types of relationships which are often important to them; dissolving those relationships may cause more turmoil between the adoptive mother and father and child.

Older child adoption may be more difficult and many mothers and fathers may worry about older child adoption consequences.  However, if the older child is given a say in the adoption process and provided as much information and facts as possible about the process, the home they will reside in, the school they will go to and any other information regarding the social and cultural expectations, then the outcome may be more positive for all concerned.